I was laying down in my room a few hours ago when I heard a kid speaking in an intimidating manner. Aggressive speech is not unusual, so I ignored it. Seconds later, a neighbor kid called out for me twice. I hurried over and found an older boy holding down my neighbor (who is around 7-8 years old) and trying to cover his mouth. My neighbor looked quite distressed. The older boy let go when he saw me and my neighbor ran off to his place.
The kids in our neighborhood can be really violent. Boys fight a lot, often for play. But just as often I'll see an older child hitting, pulling, or hurting a younger child, even a baby. I try to say something whenever I can, which appears to have a little bit of shock value that stops them for now. It's disturbing to realize how often it goes on.
They learn this at an early age. Striking is a common punishment that parents inflict on children here, even very young ones. And children are taught from an early age to strike something that hurts them. For example, when a toddler runs into a chair and hurts himself, the parents will get him to hit the chair so he'll feel better. Unsurprisingly, you will often see such young kids repeatedly striking their parents, other adults, and siblings - and they'll get away with it until they reach the age where the adults stop thinking it's cute and hit them back. Once the kids get a little older, they use it as a tool to control younger kids who can't hit back.
The whole trend really bothers me. It reminds me of studies in America which show that a huge number of child abusers were also abused as children. If the only form of problem-solving you've ever been taught is physical violence, then physical violence is what you will express. Especially if you've been taught that physical violence is what bigger, stronger authority figures use to get their way - then you'll be anxiously waiting until you're bigger and stronger enough to get your way as well.
Of course, it's not just parents that we learn this lesson from. On an international level, bigger, stronger nations are just as keen to use violence and the threat of violence in order to get their way. In fact, not only do they use violence as an important means of getting their way, they also keep reminding their citizens that they must keep the nation as militarily powerful as possible so that they can continue to get their way. At the same time, they hope to keep other nations weaker. Is it the slightest bit surprising that some of the weaker nations look at the biggest, strongest nations, those using violence to get their way, and yearn for the day when they can have the scariest weapons so that they can get their way too?
The kids in our neighborhood can be really violent. Boys fight a lot, often for play. But just as often I'll see an older child hitting, pulling, or hurting a younger child, even a baby. I try to say something whenever I can, which appears to have a little bit of shock value that stops them for now. It's disturbing to realize how often it goes on.
They learn this at an early age. Striking is a common punishment that parents inflict on children here, even very young ones. And children are taught from an early age to strike something that hurts them. For example, when a toddler runs into a chair and hurts himself, the parents will get him to hit the chair so he'll feel better. Unsurprisingly, you will often see such young kids repeatedly striking their parents, other adults, and siblings - and they'll get away with it until they reach the age where the adults stop thinking it's cute and hit them back. Once the kids get a little older, they use it as a tool to control younger kids who can't hit back.
The whole trend really bothers me. It reminds me of studies in America which show that a huge number of child abusers were also abused as children. If the only form of problem-solving you've ever been taught is physical violence, then physical violence is what you will express. Especially if you've been taught that physical violence is what bigger, stronger authority figures use to get their way - then you'll be anxiously waiting until you're bigger and stronger enough to get your way as well.
Of course, it's not just parents that we learn this lesson from. On an international level, bigger, stronger nations are just as keen to use violence and the threat of violence in order to get their way. In fact, not only do they use violence as an important means of getting their way, they also keep reminding their citizens that they must keep the nation as militarily powerful as possible so that they can continue to get their way. At the same time, they hope to keep other nations weaker. Is it the slightest bit surprising that some of the weaker nations look at the biggest, strongest nations, those using violence to get their way, and yearn for the day when they can have the scariest weapons so that they can get their way too?
1 comment:
I didn't come up with the analogy between childhood violence and international violence on my own. The excellent novels "A Separate Peace", "Ender's Game", and "Lord of the Flies" all explore the theme to some degree, as I'm sure do many other books and movies.
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