to the johns

Please read these two articles, written by two friends here in Thailand:

The Cowards of Nana

to the johns


If you are moved by that, take a step to help one of their organizations or any of the following organizations that are working to help women caught in such terrible circumstances.

NightLight

Sari Bari

International Justice Mission

You do not belong to the world: Part II

I now know that I have a difficult time focusing on God when caught up in the "typical" American life. Being in Thailand has given me energy - energy to read, think, pray, change, and chase after God. As I reflected on that difference last month, I realized that most of my deepest experiences of God have taken place during such displacements - IV summer conferences in the mountains or islands, my trip to India, and my trip to Manila.

In Compassion, Henri Nouwen and his coauthors link God's call to us to come out of this world to our call to form compassionate community together as Christians. They state, "The call to community as we hear it from our Lord is the call to move away from the ordinary and proper places." The Compassion authors use Luke to illustrate this point (9:60-62, 14:26, 18:22), but the same message is illustrated over and over in the Bible. Jesus's own life was one of displacement - a coming down from heaven to an Earthly existence, a move from Nazareth into Bethlehem for his birth, a flight into Egypt, and the eventual call into Jerusalem to face death. God calls Abraham and Sarah, Joseph, Moses, David, Elijah, Elisha, Ruth, Esther, Jonah, Jeremiah, Daniel, Nehemiah, Hosea, Amos, all 12 disciples (especially Peter, Andrew, James, John, and Matthew), Paul, Barnabas, Silas, and Timothy to leave their "ordinary and proper place" and enter into a different life with God. And while each one of these displacements disrupted the "normal" life of these people and their families, they brought much greater life to God's people in the long run. It took obedience in the form of displacement, over and over again in history, for God's people to be a "people" and for the Christian church to exist at all.

I don't think that God calls everyone to dramatic moves away from home. But I think he calls all of us to stop listening to the standards of the world and start listening to His voice instead, and in that process to be open to dramatic change.

When we open ourselves to the possibility that God is calling us to something different than what the world calls us to in our daily decisions, we make it easier to hear Him when He does call us to those dramatic moves. I think that's why I start doing better spiritually when I am away from "home". When I'm in the typical work/home/church life in California, it's easy for me to get caught up in my society's expectations of a "normal" life. When I pursue God outside of this "normal" routine, whether it be a summer conference in the mountains or an internship in Thailand, I get the constant reminder that the "normal" life is not the life I am being called to lead, and my energy gets shifted to God's calling on my life instead. Then, if and when God calls me to more dramatic defiance of the world's expectations, it will be that much easier for me to hear Him.

The Compassion authors sum up this holy obedience well:

The more we are able to discern God's voice in the midst of our daily lives, the more we will be able to hear him when he calls us to more drastic forms of displacement. Some of us are indeed called to move away from our cities and live in caves; some of us are indeed called to sell all we have, give it to the poor, and follow Christ in total poverty; some of us are indeed called to move away from our more familiar milieus and live with the sick and the dying; some are indeed called to join nonviolent communities of resistance, to protest loudly against social ills, to share in the misery of prisoners, the isolation of lepers, or the agony of the oppressed; some are even called to undergo torture and violent deaths. But no one will be able to hear or understand these very blessed calls if he or she has not recognized the smaller calls hidden in the hours of a regular day. Not everyone is called in the way St. Francis, Mother Teresa, Martin Luther King, Jr., Cesar Chavez, Dorothy Day, Jean Vanier, Archbishop Romero, and Dom Helder Camera were called. But everyone must live with the deep conviction that God acts in her or his life in an equally unique way. No one should ever think that he or she is just an "ordinary citizen" in the Kingdom of God. As soon as we start taking ourselves and God seriously and allow him to enter into a dialogue with us, we will discover that we also are asked to leave fathers, mothers, brothers, and sisters and follow the crucified Lord in obedience. Quite often we will discover that we are asked to follow our Lord to places we would rather not go. But when we have learned to see him in the small displacements of our daily lives, the greater call will not seem so great after all. We then will find the courage to follow him and be amazed by our freedom to do so.

Only three years after writing this passage, Nouwen took his own "drastic" displacement by leaving the Harvard faculty and living among the mentally disabled in the L'arche Daybreak community in Toronto, where he would remain for the rest of his life.

May we also listen to God's call on our lives and practice obedient in defiance of the standards of the world, that even in old age we can follow God away from this world's call into the greater community that He has to offer us.

You do not belong to the world: Part I

A benefit of living so far from "home" is that it reminds me not to treat this world as my true home.  The earliest Christians were adamant that those who follow Christ are "not of this world" (John 18:36). Having grown up in a nation where most people count themselves within the Christian faith and where much of the culture, economy, and politics are tied around superficially Christian expressions, it can be difficult to remember that we should not try to make ourselves comfortable with what this world has to offer. In Compassion, Henri Nouwen and his coauthors discuss the strong pull we feel to go along with the world and fall in line with its standards. They share:

We want to be ordinary and proper people who live ordinary and proper lives. There is an enormous pressure on us to do what is ordinary and proper - even the attempt to excel is ordinary and proper - and thus find the satisfaction of general acceptance. This is quite understandable since the ordinary and proper behavior that gives shape to an ordinary and proper life offers us the comforting illusion that things are under control and that everything extraordinary and improper can be kept outside the walls of our self-created fortress.

Unfortunately, this "conforming to the pattern of the world" (Romans 12:2) only leads us away from God. Christ calls us to so much more, but we have to give up our love of the "ordinary" world in order to love our extraordinary God (1 John 2:15-17). The Shepherd of Hermas, one of the earliest Christian writers, began his Similitudes by stating that when Christians realize that they are not in their true home but living in a "strange country", they will be free to stop trying to hoard things and be comfortable in this life but instead will open up their possessions to those afflicted by need (Similitudes 1:1-11). More than 200 years later, St. John Chrysostom emphasized the same message over and over again, exclaiming to his flock that they are not to trust in material things for, "You are a stranger and a pilgrim with respect to the things here! You have a country which is your own in the heavens!" (Homily 2 on the Statutes).  And it was this rejection of the standards of the world that drove the passions of the Desert Fathers, for "These were men who believed that to let oneself drift along, passively accepting the tenets and values of what they knew as society, was purely and simply a disaster" (Thomas Merton, The Wisdom of the Desert).


One unfortunate side affect of the surface-level "Christianizing" of many of our societies is that it has made it easier for us to feel comfortable here.  We are not the early Christians living under fear of persecution or the Desert Fathers purposely choosing to remove themselves from the excesses of society.  We don't have the constant reminders that the values of the world oppose the values of God.  And so we need to work that much harder to remind ourselves that our souls are being prepared for eternity with God rather than comfort in this life, that society's standards for success and achievement are not God's standards, that affirmation in the eyes of the world is not equivilent to affirmation from God, and that our worldly possessions are not our own to keep but are given to us temporarily by God in order to bless others.

It has been a blessing of my experience in Thailand that these things are easier to remember here.  This is partially because I now live in a expressedly non-Christian culture, and partially because I am pledged full-time to Christian service, but I think the biggest factor has just been my displacement from the world I was "expected" to be within to a world where I know I am different, and thus am reminded that all of this world stands apart from the expectations of the Kingdom of Heaven.


There's more I have to say, but it will have to wait for another post.  I'll end here with the conclusion to John Chrysostom's Homily 12 on Matthew, where he considers the effects that our failure to let go of this world has on our witness as Christians:

For this cause the very heathens disbelieve the things that we say, since our doings, not our sayings, are the demonstration which they are willing to receive from us; and when they see us building ourselves fine houses and laying out gardens and baths and buying fields, they are not willing to believe that we are preparing for another sort of residence away from our city.

For if this were so, say they, they would turn to money all they have here and lay them up beforehand there; and this they divine from the things that are done in this world. For so we see those who are very rich getting themselves houses and fields and all the rest, chiefly in those cities in which they are to stay. But we do the contrary; and with all earnest zeal we get possession of the earth which we are soon after to leave; giving up not money only but even our very blood for a few acres and tenements: while for the purchase of Heaven we do not endure to give even what is beyond our wants, and this though we are to purchase it at a small price and to possess it forever, provided we had once purchased it.

Therefore I say we shall suffer the utmost punishment, departing there naked and poor; or rather it will not be for our own poverty that we shall undergo these irremediable calamities but also for our making others to be such as ourselves. For when heathens see them that have partaken of so great mysteries earnest about these matters, much more will they cling themselves to the things heaping much fire upon our head. For when we who ought to teach them to despise all things that appear do ourselves most of all urge them to the lust of these things; when shall it be possible for us to be saved, having to give account for the perdition of others? Do you not hear Christ say that He left us to be for salt and for lights in this world, in order that we may both brace up those that are melting in luxury and enlighten them that are darkened by the care of wealth? When therefore we even cast them into more thorough darkness and make them more dissolute, what hope shall we have of salvation? There is none at all; but wailing and gnashing our teeth, and bound hand and foot, we shall depart into the fire of hell, after being full well worn down by the cares of riches.

Considering then all these things, let us loose the bands of such deceit, that we may not at all fall into those things which deliver us over to the unquenchable fire. For he that is a slave to money, the chains both here and there will have him continually liable to them; but he that is rid of this desire will attain to freedom from both. Unto which that we also may attain, let us break in pieces the grievous yoke of avarice, and make ourselves wings toward Heaven; by the grace and love towards man of our Lord Jesus Christ, to whom be glory and might forever and ever. Amen.

Humility

Two American guys walked by us on one of our recent outreach nights.  They stopped to look at everyone, and then one of them addressed me:

What's going on here?

We're just hanging out with the family.

Do you ever buy them fruit?

Sometimes we do.  Tonight though w..[interrupted]

Buy them fruit don't give them money.  [walks away while finishing sentence]

My first thoughts were judgemental.  What does he know about this family? We're the ones who come here faithfully and know what their needs are!  We know what we're doing better than some random guy walking down the street.  If he knew them he'd know that fruit (of which they often get given plenty) will just keep them exposed and vulnerable on the streets one more night, while money will put them one step closer to being able to make the long trip home with enough to live on for a while....

After some period of self-righteousness, I had to stop myself.  For one thing, I don't know these answers as concretely as I was telling myself I did.  I have already wrestled with the possibility that giving to families who are begging reinforces a dangerous practice that puts the children at risk and offers no long-term stability.  Some well-established NGOs advise that tourists not give financially in such circumstances.  There are strong potential arguments on the other side as well (giving families the freedom to decide for themselves, keeping our own hearts soft through giving, supporting widows who truly have no other means of sustenance, etc.) but the argument is not nearly as simple as I was making it in my head.  And for all I know, this random guy might be a community development expert or social justice advocate, and in a rushed moment he may have condensed a lesson he had learned through years of study and experience.

And how often have I acted or wanted to act exactly as this man was acting? How often have I judged someone serving others, thought I knew a better way of doing it than they did, or offered a fleeting bit of advice that neither spoke to the depth and complexities of the situation nor took into account all that they already knew that I may be ignorant of?  How quick I am to judge!

I need to be reminded how much there is that I don't know.  I need to stay open to the advice of any who may offer it, not accepting it uncritically but listening for the voice of the Spirit in their words and setting it up alongside all that I have already learned. And I need to place myself in a posture of humility before all who I interact with, for it is only in humility that we learn.

Another lesson on humility.  Seems to be a pattern on this trip....

Daily Life Post

I realized that I never really talk about our day-to-day life in Thailand, and some people might be interested in that stuff.  So here goes all the little details so I don't have to do it again.  :P

Weather: When we got to Thailand it was the rainy season, which meant highs in the 90s, lows in the 80s, high humidity, and spectacular thunderstorms nearly every day.  Now we're transitioning into the cold season, which means highs in the 80s, lows in the 70s, and seeing people wear beanies, scarves, and putting shirts on their dogs.

Food: I bought oatmeal from the local Carrefour and that's what I have for breatfast every day, either with some Thai yogurt or soy milk that I buy from street vendors (with beans and tofu chunks added).  I also eat fruit - street vendors sell fresh bananas, pineapples, mangos, pomelos, oranges, apples, grapes, longans, papayas, watermelons, pomegranates, durians, guavas, jackfruits, mangosteens, rambutans, and starfruits.  (edit: And dragonfruit!  And custard apples! And cherries!)


For lunch we eat street food, usually pad thai, pad see ew, fried rice, noodles, basil chicken, or some thai veggie dish.  For dinner we cook and eat as a community.  I cook 1-2 times a week, usually making pesto chicken, indian lentils, hummus, or chicken stir fry.  When other people cook it might be Nepalese, Thai, or American food.

Transportation: We walk a ton, and most of the time we aren't walking we take the bus.  But from time to time we also ride motorcycles, tuk-tuks (similar to Indian autorickshaws), songthaews (Thai version of Filipino jeepneys), cabs, or even boats.  On rare occasions we've taken the subway or the "air train".

People: Thai people are extremely gracious and are famous for smiling.  You have to be used at getting laughed at if you're a foreigner, but it's all a means of relieving embarrassment and laughing along is best.  Everyone in Thailand is shorter than me (I hit my head on stuff a lot) and almost everyone is very slender.  Most people are really helpful too - I've been approached by security guards while catching frogs on business/park property at night, and the typical response is to help me out! 

Money: Thai currency is the baht, which exchanges at about 30 baht/1 dollar.  Some stuff is relatively cheap - lunches are 25-30 baht, bus fare is 7-8 baht, and my good-quality sandals were 99 baht.  Other stuff is expensive - anything electronic and anything remotely foreign (like American food) will usually cost even higher than typical American prices.

Clothing: I wear shorts, sandals, and a t-shirt everywhere, every day, as does nearly everyone (except for the Thais that are bundling up now that it's the cold season).

Animals: All sorts of interesting reptiles and amphibians are everywhere.  We also see 10" long centipedes, lots of spiders, land crabs, fish that walk on land, and all sorts of weird insects.  On our trips outside of the city we see water buffalo, monkeys, and giant fruit bats.

Other differences from life at home:  Well, everyone speaking Thai is the obvious one.  Showers are cold but that usually doesn't matter with the heat.  I wash my own laundry by hand.  Every trip crossing the street is a Frogger-style adventure, since crosswalks are rarely at places where traffic actually stops.  Buddhist temples and animist spirit houses are absolutely everywhere.  You get used to the nearly constant presence of geckos, cockroaches, and rats around the house.  Unfortunately, being in the city also means that you constantly see older White men with young Thai girls.


That's all I can think of off the top of my head.  Any questions at all about life here?

Cambodia

I don't think there's an adequate way to put my experiences of the last two weeks into words.  I am glad to be here, have met good people here, have felt real hope here....and yet have learned of more past and present pain than anywhere I have ever been.

I can't give you these experiences, and it's hard for me to put my feelings from them into words.  For now, I just want to share what kinds of things I did.  The only way I know to lead you through the feelings would be if you were able to get to do these things too


1) Spent a couple months getting to know a number of Cambodians.  Spent enough time with them that I consider them friends and care deeply about how they are doing in their lives.

2) Did some research into Cambodian history.  I read the excellent book Brother Enemy and several historical accounts on the internet for this, but there are plenty of other options.


3) Read first-person accounts from Cambodians.  I read First They Killed My Father and The Road of Lost Innocence.  I highly recommend these - they are at the extremes of experience, but they are extremes that many, many Cambodians have had to face in the last 40 years.  I also read Lucky Child and will soon start Bou Meng: A survivor from Khmer Rouge prison S-21.

4) Went to Cambodia.  Met some of my friends there and tried to learn what they could do to make the best life possible for themselves in their home country.  Spent a night in Poipet and learned something of the terrible things that go on there.  Went further into the country and learned something of people's lives in a more typical town.  Stayed in the big city of Phnom Pehn and saw a very different side of Cambodia.  Throughout this time visited the archaeological sites, former prisons, and killing sites and stood face-to-face with Cambodia's past.  And as much as possible every day, visited the businesses, NGO's, and churches and learned what is being done for Cambodia's future.

5) Asked myself: what is God speaking to me in all of this?

For me, the shortest answer I can give right now is that I have basically the same feelings that I had in my March 24, 2005 post on my xanga blog, except that I feel a lot less desperation now because I feel much closer to being where I need to be.