I don't think there's an adequate way to put my experiences of the last two weeks into words. I am glad to be here, have met good people here, have felt real hope here....and yet have learned of more past and present pain than anywhere I have ever been.
I can't give you these experiences, and it's hard for me to put my feelings from them into words. For now, I just want to share what kinds of things I did. The only way I know to lead you through the feelings would be if you were able to get to do these things too
1) Spent a couple months getting to know a number of Cambodians. Spent enough time with them that I consider them friends and care deeply about how they are doing in their lives.
2) Did some research into Cambodian history. I read the excellent book Brother Enemy and several historical accounts on the internet for this, but there are plenty of other options.
3) Read first-person accounts from Cambodians. I read First They Killed My Father and The Road of Lost Innocence. I highly recommend these - they are at the extremes of experience, but they are extremes that many, many Cambodians have had to face in the last 40 years. I also read Lucky Child and will soon start Bou Meng: A survivor from Khmer Rouge prison S-21.
4) Went to Cambodia. Met some of my friends there and tried to learn what they could do to make the best life possible for themselves in their home country. Spent a night in Poipet and learned something of the terrible things that go on there. Went further into the country and learned something of people's lives in a more typical town. Stayed in the big city of Phnom Pehn and saw a very different side of Cambodia. Throughout this time visited the archaeological sites, former prisons, and killing sites and stood face-to-face with Cambodia's past. And as much as possible every day, visited the businesses, NGO's, and churches and learned what is being done for Cambodia's future.
5) Asked myself: what is God speaking to me in all of this?
For me, the shortest answer I can give right now is that I have basically the same feelings that I had in my March 24, 2005 post on my xanga blog, except that I feel a lot less desperation now because I feel much closer to being where I need to be.
I can't give you these experiences, and it's hard for me to put my feelings from them into words. For now, I just want to share what kinds of things I did. The only way I know to lead you through the feelings would be if you were able to get to do these things too
1) Spent a couple months getting to know a number of Cambodians. Spent enough time with them that I consider them friends and care deeply about how they are doing in their lives.
2) Did some research into Cambodian history. I read the excellent book Brother Enemy and several historical accounts on the internet for this, but there are plenty of other options.
3) Read first-person accounts from Cambodians. I read First They Killed My Father and The Road of Lost Innocence. I highly recommend these - they are at the extremes of experience, but they are extremes that many, many Cambodians have had to face in the last 40 years. I also read Lucky Child and will soon start Bou Meng: A survivor from Khmer Rouge prison S-21.
4) Went to Cambodia. Met some of my friends there and tried to learn what they could do to make the best life possible for themselves in their home country. Spent a night in Poipet and learned something of the terrible things that go on there. Went further into the country and learned something of people's lives in a more typical town. Stayed in the big city of Phnom Pehn and saw a very different side of Cambodia. Throughout this time visited the archaeological sites, former prisons, and killing sites and stood face-to-face with Cambodia's past. And as much as possible every day, visited the businesses, NGO's, and churches and learned what is being done for Cambodia's future.
5) Asked myself: what is God speaking to me in all of this?
For me, the shortest answer I can give right now is that I have basically the same feelings that I had in my March 24, 2005 post on my xanga blog, except that I feel a lot less desperation now because I feel much closer to being where I need to be.
1 comment:
A month ago I said that I couldn't put my experiences in Cambodia into words. I still feel that's true, and that the only way to understand what I got out of my trip there would be to read the books I read, meet the people I met, and then go see Cambodia yourself.
However...I did want to share my experiences in the country with another friend who had visited some time ago, and so after a couple weeks of reflection I was able to put together a lengthy email describing what I did and how I thought about my experiences there. The email is longer than most of what I write on this blog and includes sensitive information that I can't include here. However, if I know you well and you want to hear more about what I experienced in our Cambodia trip, let me know (preferably via email) and I will forward you the email. Like I said, it's not as good as going there yourself, but it explains what I experienced as well as I can.
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