I am weak

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

When I first visited India in 2004, I got sick three times in 2.5 weeks.  Everywhere we went I made a mental note of every toilet I saw, knowing I might soon have to use it.  During one bad episode I wasn't able to lock the door in time and was walked in on in a humiliating moment.  Late in the trip I just stopped eating for over two days, feeling that it was easier to cope that way.

And through all that, there was a distinct point two weeks in when I realized, "Even if it was like this all the time, it'd still be worth it to be here."

In six weeks in India last year I didn't get sick once, and in an entire year in Thailand I only had one short illness.  Fool's gold.

One week into life here in the slum, I started getting sick.  It lasted a week, followed by a week of semi-recovery, and then I was blasted again last night by another malady.  I am weak.

That's not the only way I feel my weakness here.  We are babies in the language, and I am significantly worse at it than the rest of my team.  We make cultural errors.  We don't know how to get around.  We clean wrong, bathe wrong, dress wrong.  We have to rely on others to teach us everything.  We have to learn to be okay with being humble, often.

And in our weakness, we are strong.

We didn't come as teachers, as leaders, as judges.  We come to learn and to serve, and to share a story.  Those of roles of humility.  The weaker I realize I am, the better I will fit into them.