Loving my enemy

Therefore you are inexcusable, O man, whoever you are who judge, for in whatever you judge another you condemn yourself; for you who judge practice the same things.  - Romans 2:1

Surprisingly, the most difficult aspect of volunteering in red-light districts has been my feelings towards the foreign men I see on the streets. There's something about the in-your-face audaciousness, the party atmosphere, and the large numbers of foreigners that make it easy for me to make assumptions about these men. The fact that I've recently read several books dealing with human trafficking and the abuses committed against women in this environment hasn't helped.



The first two times I went into the red lights, I vacillated between maddogging these "johns" and trying to openly express sadness. I assumed that every man I saw was looking for sex. Unless they were clearly tourists, I assumed that nearly every woman I saw with a man had been bought. And when I saw middle-aged and older White men with apparently teenaged Asian girls, I had difficulty holding back my anger. Scenarios would play in my mind that could provide an excuse to act out physically. I also imagined taking a camera and getting pictures of all the guys I saw, to be posted on the Internet and viewed by wives, girlfriends, coworkers and fellow churchgoers. These ideas were not Christ-like and they did not make me feel better, but I didn't know how to deal with what I saw.

The issue came to a head when a very intoxicated individual forced himself into a situation I felt some responsibility for and I confronted him. He drew out the situation the way only a drunk man can, and while it didn't turn violent there was an extended period of time where it felt like we were right on the edge. The confrontation didn't end until outside circumstances brought it to a close, and nothing was gained by the encounter. Soon afterwards I began openly seeking advice regarding my feelings towards the men I am encountering in these dark places.

I am learning to view them with compassion and love rather than hate. Part of the reason for this is practical truth - many of my assumptions are false. Not every man I see is looking to buy someone, and not every couple I see is the result of a financial transaction. Some may even be here for the same reasons that me and my wife are. But even for those who are engaging in the abuses I hate so much, anger and desire for violent confrontation aren't the solution. There is a brokenness here that I only understand a little bit of, but God sees it. He knows how these men are hurting, he knows the pain that drives them to seek love and acceptance and control in a place like this, and He desires for them to live a fuller life. If I could see them with His eyes, I would see wounded souls made in the image of God, and I would see the potential for so much more than the moral gutters they are dragging themselves through.

If I could look at these men through God's eyes, I would also see much more of myself than I realize. I have my own brokenness, and I've acted out my own sin in failed attempts to deal with it. It is far too easy for me to see other paths that could have led me to the red lights. And if I had, I would have brought to God's truth not via hateful stares and verbal confrontations, but through the kind of compassion that envelops its target in love and can still say, "Go and sin no more."

Lord, I know you love the men on these streets with every bit of the intensity that you love the children we spend time with, the women suffering here, and those of us who call you Savior. I know you desire to forgive them of every bit as much sin as you've forgiven me. Give me eyes to see and a heart to love in the same manner that you do, and through your love may they one day be able to see themselves as children of the most high God and the women in their lives as the same.

These pages are to tell you,
my brother, my sister,
not to run away from people who are in pain
or who are broken,
but to walk towards them,
to touch them.
Then you will find rising up within you the well of love,
springing from resurrection....

If you walk with Jesus along this path,
he will lead you
to the poor, the weak, the lonely and the oppressed,
not with fear and despair,
not with feelings of guilt and helplessness,
not with anger and revolt,
not with theories and preconceived solutions,
but with a new and deeper
peace and love and hope.
 
And he will reveal to you the new meaning
of pain and darkness;
how joy springs
from the wounds of brokenness.
He will reveal to you
that he is hidden in
the poor, the weak, the lonely and the oppressed.
 
He will reveal to you the way to refind,
rebuild, renew and receive
the relationship of gentle love and fidelity
that is at the origin of all existence.
It will be revealed as a tiny seed
but one from which can grow new life for the world.
 
Let us walk together along this path
with our sisters and brothers
in this broken world of ours.
Let us walk together along this path
with Jesus,
and discover that it is a path of hope.

Jean Vanier, introduction to the Broken Body